Today I was in deep thought as to what, if anything, I was getting out of this class at this early stage. It is in my nature to worry about things I cannot control, such as what I might absorb, so I just sat there tonight and listened. I found alot of idle chatter and many times the conversation strayed way off the subject of the class and I found this to be distracting. I did, however, come away with the realization that I have allowed myself, over many years, to close up my creative mind and limit its uses to what I have become comfortable with. My comfort zone consisting of things I can create at home. It has been about 7 years since I have performed music live and part of me misses it but the other part has no desire for the rehearsals and the lugging of equipment that comes along with it. I also haven't written music with anyone else for just as long and have grown comfortable not doing so.
I think I know what I need to do to start creating again, if I could only find a way to do it while enduring the daily rigors of life that always seem to pop their heads in at all the wrong times. I have a humiliating and mind numbing job and I am surrounded daily by my 2 young children who seem to need things at the exact moment I sit down to be creative. Its maddening sometimes so I just give up on it and move on. However, I have been fortunate to watch my children be creative. In a way I get the same kind of satisfaction from watching them be creative that I get when I am being creative.
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